


Time Heals All Wounds But This

by programmergeek



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 1940s, Crushes, F/M, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Questioning, Some profanity, World War II, platonic f/m relationship, random headcanon I found, someone's probably already written this but whatever, steve rogers being an idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:39:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3120470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/programmergeek/pseuds/programmergeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers thinks that his sexuality is a disease because he can't get over 1940's prejudices. Much confusion ensues, both before and after becoming Captain America, both before and after waking up in the 21st century.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Heals All Wounds But This

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, and it is being published without being betaed. I may go back and edit things later (also if anyone wants to give constructive critisism feel free to leave a comment and I'll be happy for your input). Please excuse my writing if it's shitty

Despite what the bullies said, there wasn't much about Steve Rogers to hate.

"Scrawny little piece of shit," one of them growled, throwing a punch at Steve's face on each word. 

There wasn't anything wrong with being scrawny. In his fifteen years Steve had tried to fix that. He'd run with Bucky every morning for a week, but it was hard to sneak out of the orphanage that early, and Steve still found himself out of breath every time. He'd tried a job at lifting boxes for a grocery store, but had gotten fired after an hour. A box chock full of apples was more than his strength could handle and it plummeted out of his hands, spilling hundreds of fruits into the street. The grocer had seen them all be gathered up by pedestrians, save for three, and Steve had been out the door. At least he had gotten to keep the three apples. Maybe because he was so scrawny. There wasn't anything wrong with being scrawny.

As the bully pulled him into a choke-hold, a muscular boy came barreling down the alley towards them. As he raised his fist and began to swing, the bully dropped Steve and ran towards the street. Steve rubbed his head where it had hit the ground as the boy held out his hand. Steve took it.

"Thanks Bucky," Steve said with a smile.

There was something very wrong with liking Bucky Barnes.

The two boys had been best friends since Steve had yelled at the boy trying to steal Bucky's food and gotten beaten up for it. They had been inseparable for years now. Wherever Bucky was you would find Steve, from the streets to the tables where they ate in the orphanage. Bucky had other friends, but he was Steve's only friend, and somehow that made Steve more important in his eyes. They were best friends, brothers in every sense but parentage, and that was enough for the both of them.

That had changed on a summer day when Steve was twelve. The orphanage had scrounged up enough donations to take the older kids to Cony Island. And so they had gone, all piling onto the subway and sitting impatiently as they neared the beach. When they finally saw the beach and the pier and the boardwalk, no child could keep their mouth from hitting the floor. As the other kids rushed off to who knows where with strict instructions to be back by nine, Bucky turned to Steve.

"I want to go on the roller coaster," Bucky said as the boys walked along the boardwalk.

"Where's that?" asked Steve, turning in a circle and looking around.

Bucky laughed. "It's over there," he said, pointing down a side street at a towering wooden structure.

Steve gulped but nodded an okay, and the two walked down the street to the coaster. They handed their tickets to the man standing in the booth with a smile on his face, and before Steve could express that he really didn't think this was a good idea, they were sitting in a car and on their way up the first hill. Steve almost closed his eyes as they plummeted down, but instead he looked left towards Bucky.

Bucky laughed. The laugh was the purest and truest one Steve had ever heard. Bucky looked the happiest he had ever been, as though he had not a care in the world but for the air rushing through his hair. The laugh consumed him, from his eyes to his arms gripping the bar, and to Steve it looked as though he was radiating more light than the summer sun. To Steve, Bucky looked beautiful. The tiny butterflies in his stomach from getting on the roller coaster had faded at some point, and had been replaced with huge monarchs, beating wings turning Steve inside out over and over again. Steve had stopped paying attention to the ride, instead staring at Bucky's face, wanting nothing more than to freeze this moment, to have Bucky be this happy for every moment for forever and ever.

And then the ride ended. Steve looked away from Bucky as his friend turned towards him.

Bucky laughed once more. "That was fun, Steve! Wasn't it?"

Steve nodded and smiled broadly. "Yeah, Bucky, yeah it was."

The two spent the rest of the day riding rides and eating cotton candy. Whenever Bucky smiled, Steve felt warm and content, as though he were sitting in front of the fireplace in the home he had never had. At one point they played a carnival game.

Bucky was the strongest, so he threw the baseballs towards the bottles, breaking bunches of them in rapid succession. Steve smiled as Bucky claimed his prize. Bucky was awesome at sports. Steve was so focused on Bucky that he didn't notice when his friend handed him the prize, a Frisbee.

"Thanks," Steve said. "What am I supposed to do with it?"

"I dunno," Bucky shrugged. Moments later his eyes lit up. "You could use it as a shield! You could be a superhero like Superman! You could throw the shield and use it to keep from getting hurt and then you wouldn't need to be so big and strong. You could be, umm, Captain Coney Island!"

Steve laughed. "I don't think I'm brave enough to be like Superman, Bucky."

"You are!" Bucky exclaimed, clapping a hand on Steve's back as they walked out onto the pier.

Steve felt sparks radiate from Bucky's hand and into his skin, and he smiled.

Before long the sun set, and the two boys rushed around trying to find something worthwhile to do before they had to get back to the rest of the kids in the orphanage. After much thought and a not at all heated argument, they settled on the Ferris wheel. Bucky boarded a gondola, and Steve got in and sat right next to him. They rose in silence, staring out at the lights of the pier and the boardwalk. When they finally reached the top, the wheel stopped moving, and Bucky gasped.

"Steve," he whispered. "Look up."

And so Steve looked up. He saw stars. For the first time he saw stars. In the city, the streetlights drowned them out, but here...They twinkled and gleamed in the blue darkness. Steve had never seen anything more beautiful except for...

He turned to look at Bucky. Wild brown hair. Eyes twinkling in the starlight. A serene expression on his face and somehow he still looked happy. Yes, Steve realized, there could be nothing more beautiful.

When Bucky looked down from the sky and turned towards his friend, Steve almost looked away. There was something that kept him staring, the starlight, Bucky, Steve wasn't sure. Maybe it was that Bucky had beautiful lips. It would be so easy right now to lean forward and touch his own to them...

Only the gondola reaching the bottom of the wheel once more saved Bucky from noticing how close Steve came to jumping out of his skin.

As they walked back to the other orphans, Steve did not speak. His mind was to much of a whirlwind to focus on anything but its thoughts. This couldn't be happening. He went to church. The priest had said it on several occasions: Men who want other men are sick. Could Steve be sick? Where had he caught this horrible disease? He hated wanting to...to kiss Bucky. He wanted whatever this was gone. He wanted to be able to look at his best friend as his best friend, and not as a beautiful boy with beautiful kissable lips and star-filled eyes who radiated light brighter than the summer sun when he laughed. He wanted it gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.

Gone.

**Author's Note:**

> The song I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers actually works perfectly for the end of this chapter.  
> You don't want to know how many times I googled Coney Island for this chapter. Also I know that Frisbees weren't invented until later but it's a metaphor.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Someone please be my beta I need an edit on this I know but I'm not good at editing yet and I really wanted to post this ASAP. Also this chapter is too short


End file.
